All my family ever does is critisize me.. all i want to do is just survive in a world that wants to kill me, and they’re not making it any easier.. “Oh you’re not in college yet? look another thing you’ve failed at.”“oh you only have a part time job? oh well.. i guess you’ll have to move out if you can’t pay your rent in our house.” ” oh were short of money, you need to do more.” all i ever get told is that i need to do more. clean more, work more, be more. i can’t. i can’t keep up with it. my family hates eachother and i have no one to turn to or confide in. i’m just not meant to be alive. I’m not even living, i’m just being. its not worth it.
but i can’t because im seeing my best friend on the weekend and don’t want him finding out.
Planning suicide letters in your head because it makes you feel better, if though you’re actually achieving something for once.
seriously, just don’t post those. im trying to calm it down. you’re not helping.
I’m scared that one day I’ll fall so far into depression that I won’t get back up.